5 Supportive Actions To Help Those Grieving

 

 

Grief is something all of us have to face in life at one point or another. Sometimes it can be devastating and debilitating. One thing is sure, the grief process is made much more healthy and effective with support.

Do you know someone who is grieving? Grief is often related to the loss of a loved one, but it can be related to the loss of anything. You can grieve the loss of a job, a lifestyle, or even an old home. Eventually, you will know someone who is grieving, so it?s good to know some ways to help.

 

A grieving person may not be upfront about how badly your support is needed, but that may be due to denial or pride. You need unobtrusive ways to comfort them that make them feel loved and accepted. Read on for 5 supportive actions to help those grieving.

 

Be Genuine

Be genuine when you communicate with someone who is grieving. Avoid minimizing, giving advice not asked for, or offering a bunch of solutions. The grieving doesn?t need a fixer, they need an ear. One of the best things to say is, ?I?m here and I care.?

 

The grieving person needs to feel you are sincere. Empty words will cause them to isolate themselves from you. Many friendships are ended because of this. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you can?t identify with the pain they are feeling, then say so. Don?t pretend you understand. Because the grieving is vulnerable, they can tell the difference

 

Just Be There

The first and easiest thing you can do is just be there for someone. Show up, don?t bring up anything sad if they don?t, and be a presence in the life of your grieving friend or loved one. They may not want to do whatever you usually do together, or that may be exactly what they need. Just be a consistent, positive presence in their life.

 

They need your presence more than your words. If they are quiet, then you be quiet. When they are ready to speak, you just listen. Holding space for a grieving person is so important. They will appreciate your listening ear. If they cry, let them cry without any unsolicited advice. Whatever you do, don?t say, ?It's okay?. It's not okay; it hurts. It may be okay later, but right now, it's not.

 

Offer Practical Support

Sometimes a grieving person needs practical help. Grief can cause you to let go of yourself and your home. If you notice that your friend or loved one could use someone to run to the store for them, help them clean, or take care of their kids, be that person! Even providing a meal or driving someone to a doctor's appointment can make a huge difference to an individual needing practical support. Offer your help with no judgment. You don?t want them to feel worse than they already do. Pointing out their flaws will cause the grieving to sink further into a hole of depression because new they will feel inadequate and helpless. If they don?t accept your help, don?t be offended. They will appreciate that you asked and remember you if they change their mind. Making sure that you reassure them of your love and support often, both emotionally and physically, will help your loved one as well. 

 

Let Them Talk About The Deceased

 

You might think that talking about a lost friend or loved one might further someone?s pain, but the opposite is true. Never talking about them and acting like they didn?t exist is denial and it will worsen someone?s pain.

 

So, if someone wants to talk a bit about their lost loved one, let them. They will probably want to reminisce about the good times. They may also need to work through grief about things they did or didn?t do while that person was around. These are all healthy, common, and normal ways to have an ongoing relationship with your loved one.

 

Deal With Their Guilt

According to Psychotherapist Mark Tyrell, you should encourage them to let go of the guilt and commit to living a life that will honor the deceased, even if that means forgetting about them for a little while. Guilt is usually associated with intensified grief and depression.

 

This advice may seem contradictory to the last topic, but sometimes grieving people carry so much guilt that it?s best to take it slow. If they need to focus on their life before they can let go of the past, then that is the best option. At other times, your grieving friend or loved one might need to talk through their guilt with you.

 

People may feel they should have been there for their loved one?s death, even though that may actually be impossible or they feel they didn?t express their love and appreciation enough. Some caregivers blame themselves for having made a ?wrong decision? in their loved one's medical care. They blame themselves for their death. When making those kinds of decisions, it's always best to ask yourself the question, if you?re making the right decision with what you know now. No one can predict the future. It wasn?t your fault.

 

Distinguish Grief From Trauma

Grief is a response to trauma. Trauma is an event and people process trauma in different ways than they do grief. However, the two are related. If your friend or loved one is having flashbacks to an event, and terror rather than sadness, they may be experiencing trauma. This trauma will have to be worked through in order to deal with their grief.

 

Grief is the normal and natural response to loss. It?s the conflicting emotions that result at the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief is the feeling of wishing things would have ended differently, better, or more. Grief is a normal and natural feeling after a trauma.

 

Although no two people grieve the same, their responses may be similar. It?s harmful to mislabel grief as trauma because it isn?t accurate; trauma and grief are not the same. It can be misdiagnosed and mistreated.

 

For help with both grief and trauma, professionals are available. A professional will know the steps to take to get your mental health back on track. Make sure, though, that you are ready for help. Follow all the steps on this list and pair that with a desire to be better. It?ll take a while, but you will get there.

?????Did you find This Blog Post Helpful?

If you did, let me know in the comments below!

And feel free to share this post with your friends

and family. 

Remember the Widows in your family

and community. They are worth it!

Sheyel Lavon Rorie

Widow Coach

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheyelrorieinc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sheyelrorie

Don't forget to get your FREE COPY of "Become Whole Again After Loss"